Facebook Will Sell You A Bridge

This is not a scam (to the best of my knowledge)

If you ever wonder how the people of New York City talked themselves into electing Eric Adams, consider that they have a long history of falling for obvious scams, like con artist George C. Parker “selling” Grant’s Tomb, the Metropolitan Museum of Art, the Statue of Liberty, and, on multiple occasions, the Brooklyn Bridge.

That last scam became the source for the “if you believe that, I have a bridge to sell you” idiom you may have heard used to mock gullible people. How absurd to think that you could just purchase a piece of public infrastructure!

Nonetheless: You can buy a bridge on Facebook Marketplace.

Bridge
$35,000

While this is not a public bridge, there are still some elements of the description that merit scrutiny. For example: “built in 2003 but great condition, not used/ never driven on.” What has this bridge been doing for the last two decades if it has never been used or driven on? Is the bridge cursed? How confident can one be in the condition of a bridge that has never been field tested?

When I research entries for this column, I try to check my assumptions on the marketplace itself. Maybe there’s an active market for previously loved bridges and I’m the jerk for thinking otherwise.

Sometimes, my assumptions are incorrect. I found a listing for something called a “time out boy,” a doll that you stand in a corner of the house like it’s a punished child.

Home decor is inherently subjective, but this felt incredibly odd to me. Was this one person’s particular choice or part of a larger cultural movement? The answer, as it turned out, was the latter!

Today I found no other listings for used bridges.

You can buy a new bridge on Facebook, mind you, but this listing exists for the narrow buyer set that falls into two categories:

1. Looking to acquire a bridge

2. Does not want to spend more than $35k to do so and will happily take a rehomed bridge to stay under budget

And a used bridge has limited appeal because, unlike buying the Brooklyn Bridge in the 1890s with dreams of living off the toll booths you can install, you have to physically move the thing. I have never constructed a bridge, nor have I moved one to a new location, but I imagine the latter does not feel substantially easier than the former.

The seller has offered to remove and deliver this bridge within 100 miles…for an extra $7,500. There go your dreams of staying under budget.

Today, I have trouble seeing how you’re better off paying $35,000 for a used bridge ($42,500 with delivery) instead of paying for a new one. Some of the new bridges on Facebook are cheaper than this, and I can’t identify any charming vintage element of this 2003 bridge that makes it a valuable antique to acquire.

But the economy is a fluid thing, and maybe bridge materials will become so expensive that the used bridge trade starts to thrive. In that case, this early adopter has the advantage of setting the market; right now, a used bridge costs this much and screw you if you’re hoping to bargain shop.

Only time will tell which of us is the fool. (It’s me, the person writing about a bridge for sale on Facebook.)